CAPTAIN PHILLIPS
* * * * *
Sky Movies // 2013 // DVD
"The true story of Captain Richard Phillips and the 2009 hijacking by Somali pirates of the US-flagged MV Maersk Alabama, the first American cargo ship to be hijacked in two hundred years."
As far as I'm concerned no-one does nail-biting, heart-pounding tension quite like Paul Greengrass, and Captain Phillips is his latest offering that provides yet another exhilarating example of edge-of-your-seat cinema at its best. It's just utterly astonishing.
Quite literally from start to finish it's exceptionally tense, terrifying and practically overflowing with suspense, in what's an extremely claustrophobic and character-driven film boasting awe-inspiring performances from Tom Hanks and newcomer (and fully deserving BAFTA winner) Barkhad Abdi. Yes there are the odd scenes that show the grandeur of the ocean and the imposing, enormous cargo ship, but the majority of the film focuses on the power struggle between the two captains at close quarters.
Captain Phillips is truly gripping and completely worth the emotional exhaustion from spending two hours clutching arm rests and worrying for Tom Hanks' safety. If you sit and watch anything over the next week (or ever, to be honest) make sure Captain Phillips is at the very top of your list.
NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM
* * * *
Sky Movies // 2006 // DVD
"A newly recruited night security guard at the Museum of Natural History discovers that an ancient curse causes the animals and exhibits on display to come to life and wreak havoc."
Night at the Museum is the original and the best. It's such a genius film that's so easy to love and get swept up in. From a T-Rex that likes to play fetch, to the stroke of genius casting the late, great Robin Williams as Teddy Roosevelt, to probably one of the most epic tiny bromances of all time it's just amazing. It's like an extreme version of Toy Story mixed with every museum lover's dream, and I absolutely love it.
DIE HARD
* * * *
Sky Movies // 1988 // DVD
"John McClane, officer of the NYPD, tries to save wife Holly Gennaro and several others, taken hostage by German terrorist Hans Gruber during a Christmas party at the Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles."
I like to think I've watched pretty much every Christmas film going, but for some insane reason I always miss Die Hard. Maybe because I've always assumed it's not actually a Christmas film, but similar to the likes the Sound of Music, Shrek and Harry Potter - the type of movie that's always programmed at Christmas but isn't particularly festive. How wrong I was. It's not quite as unashamedly seasonal as Elf but it's definitely deserving of its place on every 'Best Christmas Films' list going. I stand well and truly corrected.
It's brilliant: I am converted and now officially a Die Hard fan. It's going to be forming an integral part of my festive film programme from now on, and I think it's long overdue! To be honest, I think I'm the only person in history not to have seen Die Hard so it doesn't merit a full review. However, if you haven't watched it before then do what I did and finally see sense. Trust me, you won't be disappointed.
NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2: BATTLE OF THE SMITHSONIAN
* * *
Channel 4 // 2009 // DVD
"Security guard Larry Daley infiltrates the Smithsonian Institution in order to rescue Jedediah and Octavius, who have been shipped to the museum by mistake."
As with every sequel, Battle of the Smithsonian unfortunately falters in the wake of its predecessor but it's still enormous fun. It celebrates all of the excellent parts of the first film, just with added celebrity cameos (Hank Azaria as Kahmunrah is an inspired choice) and a whole host of new characters. The 19 museums of the Smithsonian Institution open up a world of opportunities for the film makers with so many options for new characters, and they definitely made the right decision picking the endearing and enthusiastic Amelia Earheart (Amy Adams) to focus on. Her fearless sense of adventure makes her the perfect companion for Ben Stiller's Larry while he runs around Washington D.C. and although the plot is a little all over the place this sequel is still one to watch.
THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL
* * * *
DVD // 1992
"The Muppet characters tell their version of the classic tale of an old and bitter miser's redemption on Christmas Eve."
I can't believe I've made it 22 years without seeing The Muppet Christmas Carol, but I'm glad I've finally rectified this gap in my viewing history with a fantastic Christmas present from my best friend! This film is like a warm, festive hug. It hits all the right emotional spots with the retelling of the classic Dickens novel, but it's lifted by the inclusion of numerous wonderful songs (which I'm sure I'll be humming all Christmas now) and everyone's favourite Muppets.
Michael Caine is the perfect Scrooge, and I adored Kermit the Frog as the loyal and humble Bob Cratchit. I know very little about the Muppets but they're hilarious here, fitting into the Victorian story effortlessly. It's touching, sentimental and one of the best screen versions of the classic tale I've ever seen: I can now fully appreciate why people love this so much and watch it almost religiously each and every year.
AUSTENLAND
* * * *
Sky Movies // 2013 // DVD
"Obsessed with Pride and Prejudice, a woman travels to a Jane Austen theme park in search for her perfect gentleman."
For diehard fans of Jane Austen and Mr Darcy it doesn't get much better than Austenland. It's a ridiculous film with its tongue firmly in its cheek, hilariously poking fun at the sorts of super-fans that will do anything to have an Austen romance of their own, while simultaneously respecting their admiration for the literature and highlighting just how much of an impact it still has today.
In a tacky faux Austen setting Keri Russell aims to find her very own Mr Darcy, but ends up torn between the brooding Mr Nobley (JJ Field) a man set on pointing out the fakery and ludicrous acting at every opportunity, and the seemingly innocent Kiwi handy-man Martin (Bret McKenzie) who claims to be honest with her from the start. It's a text book rom-com, and adheres to the standard practise of many Austen novels perfectly, but it's so aware of itself and the silliness of the situation that it works brilliantly. Jennifer Coolidge is in her element here as well, complete with a rubbish fake British accent, disastrously orange tan and gleaming white veneers. She encapsulates the over-enthusiastic American hell-bent on a traditional British experience like an expert and her comedic timing is fully on point.
Austenland isn't for everyone, but it's funny, sweet and completely cringey - and for me, that's the ideal formula for success.
NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 3: SECRET OF THE TOMB
* * * *
Vue Cheshire Oaks // 2014 // In UK cinemas now
"Larry spans the globe, uniting favorite and new characters while embarking on an epic quest to save the magic before it is gone forever."
I'm probably biased given how much I loved the first two films, but Secret of the Tomb was fantastic. The magical Tablet of Ahkmenrah begins to malfunction causing the museum's inhabitants to start acting bizarrely and out of character, so night guard Larry (Ben Stiller) sets off on a trip to the British Museum in London to speak to Ahkmenrah's parents, discover the secrets of the tablet and work out how to save the people he bought to life several years ago. Naturally he couldn't embark on the journey alone, so joining him in London are everyone's favourite characters: Teddy Roosevelt, Sacajawea, Dexter the monkey, Octavius and Jedediah, and Attila the Hun. It's a motley crew, and although a lot of the humour around them is pretty much a repeat of the last two films it's still very funny.
Stealing every scene he's in, Dan Stevens is a brilliant and hapless Sir Lancelot, a legend who's swordsmanship is unrivalled but is so far out of his depth in a modern world. While desperately clutching to his quest for the Holy Grail and his desperation to return to Camelot with Guinevere leads to a truly epic cameo from two Hollywood stars: no spoilers here, but trust me it's brilliant.
As an end to the trilogy it ties everything up nicely, I just think it's a scene too long at the end - it would have had more impact if it had finished a little earlier. Plus, a little less Ricky Gervais isn't a bad thing… That being said it's a wonderful albeit bittersweet film - it presents one of the last times audiences will see Robin Williams and Mickey Rooney on screen.
I'm not going to lie: I want to see it again, and if Octavius wants me to hold his hand I will.
What have you seen this week? Are you heading to the cinema to escape the onslaughts of people panic shopping or are you hiding at home with a Christmas film? Let me know any recommendations in the comments below!
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