I don't know what it is that's knocked my head out of the game and completely thrown me mentally off balance.
All week I've been disinterested in following the programme properly and resenting having to eat the packs. I haven't been able to pull myself out of a downward spiral where all I can think about is how much this sucks, and how having to survive on 4 food packs a day seems like a punishment. I know that if I want to change my lifestyle for the better I have to do something about it and embrace change as carrying on as I did before is certainly not the way forward. I'm also fully aware that there are other options available and doing LighterLife - which is such a tough programme with brutal boundaries - was my choice, and I have no one to blame but myself if I occasionally don't like it or I struggle periodically. But even acknowledging the above and trying in vain to focus on the health benefits and the (sort of) end result (i.e. when I'm no longer losing weight but moving to maintain) I still couldn't shake feeling miserable and unenthusiastic. Again, this seems ludicrous a fortnight in - I think I should still be riding a wave of motivation, particularly after last week's weigh in.
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The brain is a funny thing. In the past when losing weight, even if I did exactly the same thing two weeks in a row, the week that my head was in a good place I'd lose more, and when I felt down and resented being on the diet I'd lose significantly less. I have absolutely no medical knowledge or expertise on the matter, but I've always thought that the brain and mental well being play a large factor in how your body reacts physically. I could be wrong (and am fully prepared to be corrected!) but that's how I see it. That's why I was so shocked with my loss this week.
I lost 4lbs.
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I knew I'd lose something: I didn't cheat on the programme at all, even though I really, really wanted to at times, but I was expecting a 2lb loss, 3lb at an absolute maximum. I've been dehydrated all week - I've not drank enough water by any stretch of the imagination, dropping to between 1 and 2 litres a day, and I thought that would greatly affect a loss this week. I have no idea how on earth I managed 4lbs - this takes me to a stone in a fortnight.
(IMAGE SOURCED FROM www.facebook.com/ELLEuk)
From the beginning I've decided not to set any targets for weight loss. I have no idea what my ideal weight is - I know the healthy boundaries for my height, but where my body falls naturally and settles happily within that I have no idea, so I refuse to pick a number as I know that when I reach it I'll probably obsess over sticking to it, even if it's not right for my body. My principle is to keep going until I'm a healthy weight and relatively happy, not really focusing on the scales and instead on how I feel and my overall health. That being said, at the back of my mind I did secretly want to lose 14lbs in the first two weeks as I knew it was doable, and actually achieving that is actually an amazing feeling!
From now on, though, I genuinely have no expectations so I'll just have to see how it goes!
Yesterday afternoon my head started to realign itself. A perfectly timed text from my best friend, newly painted nails and a walk home in the sunshine from a trip to the BFI IMAX seemed to clear my brain of negativity and I'm right back on track.
No more faffing and no more being pathetic and feeling sorry for myself, just serious hard work and dedication. Bring. It. On.
WEEK 2 LOSS: 4lbs
TOTAL LOSS: 14lbs
well done !! :)
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