Last week I spoke about various events coming up and things slotting in to place, and right now I am slap bang in the middle of one such event. As it turns out, I am the happiest I've been in years - probably ever - and I'm riding an unexpected wave of serenity due to the notion that everything just feels right. I know that I am exactly where I need to be right now (physically, thankfully yes, but more importantly mentally), and life couldn't be better if I tried.
My best friend is getting married in Vegas, and I've always contemplated going back to America and spending some time in my favourite states again to either redo my personal highlights or finally see the odd museum or landmark that I've somehow missed twice before. Before I had a chance to overthink it, while booking my flights to Vegas I decided to extend my trip and spend a week in New York and DC beforehand. School holidays and obsessively saving money over the past 6 years have worked very much in my favour, and before I knew it I was off on my own little adventure.
As you all know by now, I overthink and plan everything to a ridiculous standard, inevitably getting myself into a total flap and state of panic before I've even left the house. I still have pretty big dreams, and I've come to the conclusion that rather than throwing myself in at the deep end and causing a meltdown, I need to get there using baby steps. This little adventure is one such baby step. I've never been abroad on my own before, and I've never been quite so spontaneous, but I desperately need to leap out of my comfort zone, so what's the worst that can happen?
So far: blisters. That's it, and it's nothing out of the ordinary for me. I am experiencing a calmness and sense of pure content bliss that comes from striking out on my own and not being attacked by anything particularly scary. This is just the best, and it's ironclad proof that have no reason at all to be scared of the silly little things that normally worry me. I am capable of anything I set my mind to, and the odds are overwhelmingly positive that it'll turn out perfectly alright on the night.
Aside from my mental health, my physical health has improved drastically too. I'm drinking ridiculous amounts of water, smashing 20,000+ steps a day, eating more healthily than when I'm at home (how?!) and sleeping uninterrupted for longer. My fitbit doesn't quite know what's hit it over the last few days... Deep down I was worried that I'd take one look at an American supermarket, and with the knowledge that I was completely alone go on a massive binge, but instead I bought a massive pack of grapes on my first day and snacked on them instead. I haven't denied myself anything at all - so yes to a cupcake from Magnolia Bakery, yes to a (coffee) frapuccino - but by removing all drastic limitations I've not wanted to indulge at all. I've been more than happy on 2 meals a day, and often opted for salad for one of them. Maybe it's the heat, or maybe it's my head, but 'bad' food just isn't appealing to me. I can tell I've lost weight as a result, so perhaps this was the kick I needed?!
All in all, I feel amazing, and not a normal amazing, but a 'pinch me is this really happening' amazing. I don't want to jinx it, but I'm going to hope this feeling is here to stay...
I'm off to continue debating Brexit and the Great British Bake Off with the woman sat opposite me on the train. I never thought I could hold my own in an academic conversation (feeling slightly out-of-depth compared to her though) with a complete stranger, so that's another life goal successfully completed. As long as she doesn't ask me to describe the intricacies of the British political system again, I've got this covered...
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