Transformation Tuesday: Week 48

I'm the most boring person in the world: these posts are becoming so repetitive now!

I've carried on with my new approach to LighterLife and just taken each day as it comes and not set myself any sort of targets with the fasting. I started each day last week giving myself the option to fast - I had a pack every morning instead of porridge/fruit/real food - but just didn't take to it at all and ended up having normal food instead for the rest of the day. Yesterday was the first full day fasting all week, and I don't feel remotely bad about it. If anything, I'm in an excellent mood because I didn't force myself to do something when my heart really wasn't in it.

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Despite not fasting and simultaneously not really having any sort of concrete plan of attack with regards to food I still made sure I ate as best I could without depriving myself or going completely overboard. I've watched what I ate and tried to make the best choices I could, but annoyingly I've not been as well behaved as I should have been. I think I need to plan ahead a little more and have access to healthier food on the off chance I don't want to fast, as I had quite a few meals of just vegetables which isn't exactly balanced!

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I was really good up to the weekend but really fell off the wagon on Saturday. I love to bake, but (luckily) I've never liked the taste of cake. I can happily bake to my hearts content and end up with enough tins of baked goods to feed five thousand, and not touch a single crumb in the process. It's with this in mind that I don't understand my actions this weekend. It was my dad's birthday so I spent the morning hiding in the kitchen using every utensil in sight and steadily working my way through my enormous bags of ingredients. For some stupid reason the first cake I made (a Victoria sponge, the most basic cake that's virtually impossible to get wrong) was an unmitigated disaster. I managed to salvage as much of it as I could - improvising by cutting out four miniature ones from the unburnt section in the middle - but was left with a bowl of offcuts. To repeat what I said before, I don't like cake at all, and particularly Victoria sponge. There's something about it that I just can't stomach, but for some reason while I frantically remade the cake and whipped up a batch of flapjack at the same time I picked constantly at the bowl of rejects.

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Why?! I can't blame hunger or heightened emotion for my actions! I don't know why I did it, but I definitely regretted it. I don't feel bad about the extra calories (it's annoying but the odd mouthful here and there didn't amount to too much at all in reality), but it's more that I felt ill and full for the rest of the day and hugely baffled as to why I gave in and mindlessly ate something I didn't want. It wasn't a binge like I've experienced in the past: it was just bizarre. Thankfully we threw the bits of cake away the next day and I haven't touched any of the other things I made, so in a way I've drawn a line under the whole incident and moved on.

I like to think it was a good thing as I took to the fasting really, really well yesterday and carried on today, so maybe it's shoved my head back into gear? I feel great?! I don't understand either...

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I've also completely refocused my head this week. I've finally bought and started using a Fitbit, so the obsession with monitoring my step count and sleeping patterns has begun... I'm loving being able to log food and water though, so hopefully that'll help keep track of my input more than just writing it all down? I spent ages yesterday filling in my Daily Greatness Journal (six weeks in, but better late than never?) and that's motivated and inspired me enormously. I completed the entire 12 week programme - starting in January - and really benefited from making a note each day of my goals/food/training, so bought another one and just carried on. It took an hour or so yesterday but I reset all my goals and worked out where I'm heading with all this, and it's definitely set me on the right path again. I can't recommend the journal enough, and have a 15% off code that I hope still works if you fancy one yourself (not sponsored in anyway, just a fan!). To top it all off I started the Kayla Itsines BBG yesterday. By upping my exercise in conjunction with my refocused head I'm hopefully on the road to something fabulous. Well, fingers crossed anyway!

It's been a weirdly productive week?! I don't know what's happened weight-wise as the Bank Holiday meant no LighterLife session, but once again I'm not particularly bothered about the scales. My head's feeling spectacularly positive so I have every faith that everything else will fall into place as a result!

WEEK 47 LOSS: --

TOTAL LOSS: 75.5lbs // 5st 5.5lbs