Transformation Tuesday: Week 55

In many ways, I feel like this week has heralded the start of a massive turning point.

I maintained again this week.

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While that's lovely in so many ways - clearly keeping the weight I've currently lost off in the long term isn't going to be the disastrous uphill struggle I've always envisaged it would be - I'd ideally like to start losing again. I tried to phrase that diplomatically but if I'm being honest I would like nothing more than to start losing weight/inches again. I'm not bothered which: I just want my body to shrink a bit more please! Yes, I'm a million miles away from when I started; and yes, the weight/size I am now doesn't hold me back from doing anything in the way it did before, but that doesn't mean I'm happy with it. I'm becoming increasingly frustrated at the fact that literally nothing is happening except my fitness levels are improving dramatically. Don't get me wrong - that's a truly wonderful thing - but it'd be lovely if everything else could start moving again too.

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I think I hit a bit of a roadblock last week and couldn't picture a way round it. Life seemed to be stagnating, and for all of the progress I've made with my head I still can't seem to shake my crippling fear of the unknown and my indecisiveness to the point of inaction. I'm still a big fan of my comfort zone, and recently I've let my fears about moving on and trying something new completely take over. Even contemplating other fat loss programmes and plans just felt wrong and like I was cheating on LighterLife, which is nothing short of ridiculous!

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The main issue here is that something's not working. I'm on week 8 of the BBG, I'm drinking lots of water, and I'm sticking to the 5:2 religiously but nothing's happening. While I don't regret the last few transition months at all, I know that if I carry on like this indefinitely I will really regret not taking a chance, mixing things up and trying something new. Whatever I pick may not work, but all the evidence is suggesting that the current plan isn't going to either so really I have nothing to lose and potentially an awful lot to gain (so to speak!). I don't think perseverance, and keeping calm and carrying on are my friends at the moment. They may have worked wonders over the last year but I'm emotionally exhausted from maintaining a blind faith in a system that just doesn't produce positive results for me anymore. I have a few ideas and plan on spending the next few evenings researching them properly with the aim of throwing caution to the wind by the end of the week, finding my courage and embarking on a new adventure.

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I have a renewed sense of purpose and direction - both with this and with my actual life - and I think it's time I took a deep breath and started taking the necessary steps into the unknown to make these ideas a reality. I'm aware I'm keeping my cards quite close to my chest but hopefully I'll have something a little more concrete to discuss in the coming weeks!