I really don’t understand how I’m doing this. Deep down, I was always convinced that should I embark on a programme that required me to eat measured portions of real food, it’d be the thin end of the wedge and soon enough a plate of broccoli would inevitably lead to attacking a jar of peanut butter with a spoon and then blindly buying (and inhaling) Oreos by the bucket load in secret. Why on Earth am I not doing this? I even had broccoli (Joe Wick’s famous midget trees) for the first time since starting this week and all it lead to was a food baby the size of China. That’s it. Maybe it’s well and truly time to let go of the idea that I’m inevitably going to fail at this and just run with it, as clearly any preconceived notions I had about my ability to stick to a programme like this are completely and utterly wrong. Perhaps I should draw a line under it and move on?
(GIF SOURCED FROM www.buzzfeed.com)
That being said, I think it’s helped that I’ve fully adapted to the cooking side now. I’m starting to get a feel for the meals I’m making, and I’m beginning to feel little more confident wielding certain ingredients in the kitchen. It doesn’t feel quite so terrifying to splash sesame oil in a pan, or add a dash of cumin any more. I don’t cry quite so dramatically when slicing spring onions or fear the sound of spitting coconut oil and, I’m not going to lie: I’m really enjoying using a garlic mincer (the squelch is such a satisfying sound...). While my preparation still needs serious work – my mum is somehow managing to magically have everything in the right fridge and all pans etc washed up for exactly when I need them which is a luxury I am so, so lucky to have – the rest seems to be going well.
I’m not prepping meals in advance, and from everything I’ve seen on Instagram and Twitter recently I think that might be a good idea. Over the last week or so my time keeping has totally gone to pot, and I’ve been so engrossed with work / baking / carpets that I’ve been panic cooking meals as and when I needed them. This has led to many-a rushed lunch, and more often than not cooking dinner at 9.30/10 in the evening. Also, it’s meant that I’ve not been hungry at the right times and thus have been leaving a lot of my meals. I had emailed my coach last week and he said to initially lower my portion sizes, but by now I should really be up to the full amount. Yes, it’s still an awful lot of food, but it should be manageable. To be honest, I don’t think it’s down to me being full any more, but purely down to timing. I’m going to make a conscious effort this week to have more regimented meal times, and batch cooking when I can. Hopefully this will mean I’ll start finishing meals properly and having more productive and focussed days (and my evenings back, which would be lovely!). With only 2 weeks left of Cycle 1 I’m determined to give it my all.
(GIF SOURCED FROM www.graziadaily.co.uk)
I encountered my first real challenge on the plan as I spent Sunday and Monday in London. There was no way in hell I was preparing meals in advance and taking Tupperware containers of food down with me, so I obviously had a minor panic attack about the whole thing before I went. I’m extremely well-versed in the types of choices I should make in these scenarios while doing LighterLife, but as a diet the 90 Day SSS is a totally different kettle of fish and I felt so, so out of my depth. My coach said to just pick the obvious - protein and vegetables - and despite all my concerns it just boiled down to common sense (duh). I like to think I behaved as well as possible, but I also allowed myself to indulge when the time called for it. I refuse to feel bad about a picnic of Proper popcorn and strawberries at Somerset House and a couple of Ladurée macarons as a treat afterwards when I’ve offset them with egg white omelettes, sushi and otherwise largely shunning dairy, gluten and caffeine. I’ve been good but not restricted myself, and feel all the better for it. I have absolutely no temptation to remotely stray off the straight and narrow from now onwards, and I enjoyed my weekend more than you can imagine.
I know the word “blessed” is branded around on social media more than really should be acceptable, but I have to join the masses at the moment and add that hashtag to my life. Sitting under the stars in the courtyard of Somerset House, curled up on a picnic blanket with my mum watching Roman Holiday seemed like a huge turning point. For the first time in ages I felt completely at peace, deliriously happy and – dare I say it – blessed. I may complain about the little things in these posts, but I think that’s kind of the point: I like looking back and working out specifically what’s worked well for me or what I struggled with, as these updates really help me to pinpoint the details and exact moments when I've been in a good place or wavering off track.
However, it’s important to acknowledge that at this moment in time I am unequivocally and unapologetically happy. I’ve come so far, and while I may still be striving to move forwards with my physical weight my head is in the best place it’s ever been. If I had to stop all of this tomorrow I couldn’t care less, as where I am now is pretty great indeed. In fact, I’d go so far as to say it’s fantastic, and I don’t think I’ve ever had cause to say that about my life before with such conviction. Essentially I may be drowning in spinach, scared of using the grill, and be eating so many eggs I think it might be more economical at this stage to buy a live chicken, but life is good. I’ll take the small, annoying things and deal with them with a smile on my face as nothing can dampen my spirits when my head’s this unwaveringly and sickeningly content.
(GIF SOURCED FROM www.buzzfeed.com)
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