As I'm sure you're all aware, I've been in desperate need of direction, focus and a new challenge with regards to weight loss, so this week I signed up for The Body Coach's 90 Day SSS Plan. There, I said it, I did it, it's happening!
I've been stalking his Instagram page for months, and while the transformations are incredible and endlessly inspiring I've not quite had the courage to look into it further. However, something just clicked last week, and I guess I figured that enough was enough: why not throw caution to the wind and give it a go?! After filling in a frankly enormous questionnaire I finally received my tailored nutrition and fitness plan for the first 4 weeks last night. I plan on following it to the letter - food, exercise, protein shakes and all! - and see where it takes me. The information on the first cycle is 99 pages long - and bursting with information - so it's going to take me a couple of evenings to fully get my head round the plan, but it's safe to say I'm pretty excited!
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I am also terrified beyond measure.
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Starting this means letting go of LighterLife, and while I know that logically it's the right decision I'm really, really scared to go it alone. I know that the weight loss side of LighterLife hasn't been working for me for the last few months, so the best thing to do would be to move on and try something new before I completely fry my metabolism, but the thing is I love the programme. LighterLife has provided me with a safe environment once a week to come to terms with my issues surrounding food, and I've been able to delve into the route of so many of my problems (non-food related too) for an hour each week with the loveliest counsellor in the world and a handful of likeminded women. Being weighed every Monday evening has kept me on track; it's given me a routine; and I'm wholeheartedly convinced that without it I wouldn't have stuck to this transformation malarky for so long. LighterLife was never a quick fix for me - I personally picked it because of the weekly sessions and not for the fast weight loss - and by signing up for another programme I'm also making the decision to end my Monday evening discussions.
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In other words, I'm choosing to end therapy.
The big question though, is am I really ready to do that? On the one hand, I feel like I've come so, so far with my head - so much so that I don't even recognise the person I was 12 months ago - that I need to take the next step on my own, and for my own good. But on the other hand, I still panic over the smallest things, I still have problems with food and constantly fight a battle with the urge to overeat, and I still have instances when I'm crippled with social anxiety to such an extent that I have to talk myself into leaving the house. But the more I think about it, the more I'm coming to the conclusion that the issues I have now are just the types of normal, every day worries that everyone has. No one is perfect, and no one breezes through life without a care in the world, and maybe I'm now at a stage whereby my concerns and battles aren't out of the ordinary any more. I'm just like everyone else. I have to learn to live my life and navigate through whatever's thrown at me in the knowledge that I can handle it, it's not a cause for me to spiral, and I have such an enormous support system in place that I don't have to fear that I'm going to instantly slide back to where I was if things don't go to plan.
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In a way, it's as if the last 12 months have been building to this: the moment I decided to take off the training wheels and wobble off into the unknown a couple of stone lighter and armed with a new found confidence, strength and resilience to tackle my next challenge. It sounds dramatic but right now I have a lot of feelings swooshing round my head and it's a lot to take in and decipher!
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For the next week I'm going to be getting ready to start the 90 Day SSS on Monday 3rd August. It's going to require a lot of planning, a lot of shopping and a lot of research into protein shakes and supplements! If it's not too much trouble, if there are any fitness people out there then please do get in touch: the whole protein shake thing is confusing me greatly, so I'd love some advice if anyone has any?!
I'm going to attend LighterLife for the last time next week, mainly to explain all of this to my counsellor in person and see her for a final time. It really is the end of an era: let's hope Phase 2 is as successful as the last!
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