Everything this week seemed to go to plan. Apart from drinking a little less water than would have been ideal, I've stuck to the programme properly and done everything I was supposed to. The only major difference is for some ridiculous reason I've been obsessed with weighing myself this week, which I find personally to be a terrible habit. I know other people find it can keep them on track and it's actually beneficial, but as far as I'm concerned it makes me obsess over numbers and completely lose sight of the big picture. I've been secretly weighing myself on my scales in the middle of the kitchen floor (the hardest surface in my house) two, three, even four times a day, and I've been internally stressing myself out when the numbers haven't been changing as much as I wanted them to.
At this stage of my "journey" (eugh, still hate that word...) I've been anticipating either a plateau or significant reduction in the speed of my weight loss as my body adjusts to being over two stone lighter, and then once it has settled down for the rate of loss to pick up again. I knew this was a possibility and came to terms with it in my head weeks ago. I'm also fully aware that weight fluctuates throughout the day, and over the week, so for me it's best to only weigh myself at the same time once a week as my brain negatively jumps to conclusions if the scales yo-yo throughout the day.
This week - according to the LighterLife scales - I've lost 2lbs.
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This is 2lbs in the right direction. This is 2lbs closer to my goals. This is 2lbs nearer to moving to maintaining a healthy weight. I should not be disappointed by this at all.
However - this is me - and anyone who knows me at all knows that I set myself impossibly high standards and endlessly beat myself up if I don't quite achieve them. For a VLCD like LighterLife the average loss is around a stone a month, which works out at around 3-4lbs a week, but this is different for everyone. I originally said I wouldn't set myself goals and I'd just play it by ear, stopping when I was happy but this week I've been all about the numbers and in amongst my obsession with the scales I've mindlessly been checking my calendar, working out how many weeks are left till 2015 and trying to blindly work out where I should be at certain points over the next few months.
Of all the unhelpful habits I've developed over the years this is spectacularly rubbish. Get a grip, Forth.
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It's just frustrating to lose such a small amount when I've jumped through all the hoops and stuck to the programme. However, I need to keep telling myself that any amount is a good amount as long as the scales are moving in the right direction each week.
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On a more positive note I've noticed a huge difference in my clothes this week. I haven't bought any new outfits apart from my graduation dress for over a year now. I've lived in the same clothes - which fitted perfectly when I bought them - and accessorised them according to the season. Over the last 15 months they've gone from fitting as they're supposed to, to practically bursting at the seams, to now feeling a bit like a tent. I'm not a fan of fitted clothes and never have been, so it's been easy for my weight to steadily increase and me to not notice until it's too late as I've just filled my clothes and loosened belts when they became unbearably tight. If I'm being honest I've been too scared to go shopping and having to face up to whatever new size I'd become. It's one thing to mentally acknowledge the problem, but another to see evidence in black and white in the changing rooms.
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Now I'm having to adjust belts, constantly live in fear of my jeans falling down and have cardigans - my absolute favourite wardrobe staple - quite literally fall off both shoulders. Don't get me wrong, this is a good thing! I think I can manage for another month or two by being creative but soon I'm going to have to face up to the fact that I have to go shopping properly and actually start replacing my wardrobe with smaller sizes. I bought a few things over the last week, and it really does feel good to pull the size I thought I needed off the hanger only for it to be miles too big when I tried it on.
Often I've found even if the scales haven't reflected a big loss I've noticed my body shape has changed. I've seen small differences this week so I'm hoping the scales just need to catch up!
WEEK 10 LOSS: 2lbs
TOTAL LOSS: 37lbs // 2st 9lbs
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